Saturday 15 January 2011

Fonged out

So this morning i wake up to a completely fonged out cell,
three dudes standing around, traffic lighting a snout.
 I am used to this daily routine.
   I know what to do.

 Either play 'window', go back to sleep, or at least pretend to
until this daily ritual is finished.

 The cell is starting to stink like an old mans nappy.
The mandem notice the stench.

 "Yo Sha, it's getting hot in here"

"don't worry kid, i got somethin' for that"

 Sha squeezes out a pretty impressive fart. It has bass.

 "Shit son, that's how it's goin down?"
The next man farts. Then the next man. All pretty impressive so far.
 But...
I've been dying to fart for the last half hour, but didn't wanna shoot one off in some OG drug barons face.
 Now i'm passed caring.
The civilised englishman has left the building, now it's Turkish time.

 ..And i ate a bean pie before going to sleep..

 This thing sounded like someone jumped off a ladder wearing combat boots, onto a duck with a wet cazoo in its mouth. and it was aimed at face height. People OUTSIDE the cell heard this motherfucker
"HOLY SHIT! TIMDOG JUST FIRED OFF A SHOT!"

...Headshot motherfucker...

 Sha seems very proud of my blunderbust of a fart, i think he sees me as his flatulent protege.

"I TOLD YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, TIMDOGS A STRAIGHT TURKISH N****R!"
Real talk.

4 comments: