i get on with my cellmate Sha very well...Which is lucky for me,
i mean, you are forced to dwell in such cramped confinement with
another individual, that the smallest of problems can turn VERY nasty,
I am still more than suprised that the councillor (who's a complete idiot)
was cool with us sharing a cell..
You're supposed to be assigned a cell mate with a similar background to you..
..But yet they deemed it fit for this 25 year old English first time offender, with
no drugs or violence on his record..to share a cell with a man known as
'criminal' Sha, who has at least TEN YEARS jailtime under his belt and a HUGE
record of extreme violence and substance abuse..Perfect match!
It's always funny when i'm on a different tier, and i tell people who's my cellie..
"err...as in CRIMINAL Sha?!?"
"How's that working out? Are you ok Tim? Is he extorting you?"
Nah man, its all good, for real!
"You THINK it's all good, havn't seen him go crazy..wait 'til you see the blood.."
Sha finds all of this very amusing...
"These motherfucking n****rs think i'm crazy, these n****rs is chumps. Not
everybody, but the majority of these clown n****rs are chumps.."
He's right though. Most people in here kiss his ass like there's no tomorrow..
They usually call him things like 'Big Sha' or 'Big Dog', which he usually
replies to with a firm..
"You shut the fuck up"
...So it's lock in time..this happens a few times a day, this time it's
before 330..Sha is usually late back, mans gotta finnish his poker game..
The guard locks the door without him being back..if this happened to me,
i'd be going straight to the box..
But this ain't me..
A couple minutes later, my man arrives, smiling.
"Yo dog i'm about to blow up the spot kid!"
The guard unlocks the door, and Sha runs in and imediately pulls his
pants down, sits on the toilet and starts violently shitting..
He looks at me smiling
"You asked for it kid :D !"
HOW/WHAT THE FUCK!?
I think i would recall requesting to have the image of a 260 pound notorious bank
robber, grinning, spitting chunks of white hot bean fuelled turd into the toilet,
seared into my brain..
The guard comes back around to do the count..he sees me with a t-shirt tied around
my face, backjump style, shaking my head..and Sha sitting there naked on the toilet..
He's laughing his ass off, looking at me, and says
"Yo Harry Potter how you like New York"