Friday, 21 January 2011
Have you ever seen a black mans balls
Life on my tier is never quiet. Ever.
For around eighty per cent of the day, dudes are playing cards outside my cell...
Laughing, joking, arguing and occasionally brawling..it's all go!
Most of the time it's all in good faith though, it's extremely easy passing the time in here if you
just pull up a chair to the poker/spades table and catch some jokeries...
Sometimes, the jokes in here go a bit too far and get people in trouble...
Like for instance when a white female guard was doing her rounds recently, and without
thinking about the repercussions, some clever motherfucker decided to ask her
"Have you ever seen a black mans balls"
..He was promptly dragged off to the SHU for a month..Silly sausage..
Most guards will join in on the jokes though, like earlier today...
One of the new guys on the tier, B, was talking about how he hates people walking around
with their trousers really low (its big here), that if you wear your 'pants' like that in Rikers Island,
"It's a motherfucking invitation for Booty Bandits to fuck you in the ass"
The guard butts in..
"You'd be suprised, there are Booty Bandits everywhere man"
B looks mad, he points to his cell...
"There ain't no Booty Bandits in that cell motherfucker! If there's a
Booty Bandit in this cell, he's finished! Donkey Kong that motherfucker.."
..About an hour later, B exits the game to go pick up his medication..when someone gets the
bright idea to pour some curry powder in his drink, to 'punk' him...
I take my leave.
No more than five minutes later, i hear ruptuous laughter, followed by screams of
"YO, CALM DOWN B, CALM DOWN N****R!"
..Accompanied by the sounds of chairs flying and people running..