Saturday, 15 January 2011

MUG Shots

When you are first brought/dragged/kidnapped/checked in to MCC, they take all kinds of information from you,
and take a mugshot. It's primary use is for your prison ID that you need to carry with you at all times while in the building,
so people can identify you..People usually cut pictures out from the newspaper and glue it to their ID's just to fuck with the guards, Sha's is an advert for corrective dental surgery, an old woman with no teeth, pure gumries..

 You can tell a lot by looking at someone's photo on their ID. You can usually tell what kind of state of mind they were in when they were arrest, and how serious they took their arrest/incarceration.
 Mine is notorious.

 "YOO..they got my N****r fucked up!"

 My photo shows me, absolutely utterly shitting myself. I had been out drinking the night before with a hot tomato, and was woken up by shotgun totting dick sneezes, taken to secret service HQ, interrogated, denied/had my bail sabotaged by my fat pig of a EX lawyer...then thrown into the Lions den.
 What would be going through YOUR mind?
Just to give you a bit of a visual, i am a 25 year old Englishman, was a slim build, and had a hipster moustache.
 Need i say anymore?

 All i could think about was MANS NEEDS TO FUCKING SHAVE ASAP!
Luckily before i was thrown headfirst into general population, i was given a razor. I put it to good use. Once in general population, i was given some advice. Now i have a HUGE fucking beard. The advice i was given goes like this...

" You need facial hair so people can tell you're a man not a woman.
Walk around clean shaven, a n****r mistake your face for a pussy. Sick n****rs"
 Yeah. Exactly. Welcome to Beardsville tennesse.

 As i was going to get my 'dinner/dogshit/donkey dick in diaria sauce' earlier this evening, someone tapped me on my was my little Mexican freind Jose (not ex cellmate)
 "Hey Engrish, you no Engrish, you Mexicano!"
Nah man, i'm Turkish
 "No no, he tell me (points at Terrel) You Mexicano. No, Cubano! You look like Castro!"


  1. Damn, they must be classy american N****rs, never seen a hairy pussy? damn they got it locked down.
    Come to england, its like kissing a wig.


  2. Big up your chest, to still be catching jokes and writing such an interesting blog makes you an inspiration. Stay strong,spirits like yours always prevail. I have never met you but i'm rooting for you all the way from Bristol. one love

  3. ^^^^

    even if you are imaginary!