Couple nights ago, it's just after dinner time..I usually don't eat the slop they serve here, it looks like someone stuffed a lot of vegetables up their ass then shit them out onto a plate. Smells like it too.
So i try to cook. Or i get people to cook for me :D
It's usually T that i make food with. He's a joker, dude's about 6.5 and looks like that guy from Beetlejuice in the waiting room with the shrunken head. This is most likely due to smoking bare Crystal Meth. But anyhow, he's my freind and we cook up some serious munch on any given day..
I enquire whats on the menu tonight, and i get a very hostile response. Tis mad. Very mad. So mad he throws all the ingredients all over the table, in a dramatic fashion. Oh dear.
What's the matter?
"I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE FUCKING WITH ME"
what do you mean?
The explanation i get is this..
(The whole time i am trying my hardest not to laugh..)
On the previous day, T is looking through a copy of GQ magazine. Nothing wrong with that. Goes to take a shit, comes back, and notices one of the pages has been ripped out. Later that day he returns to his room, to find the page..which has a guy posing in speedo pants..on his pillow.
As one can probably tell, people don't have a lot of things to do in jail. So people do fuckries like this. They don't end at just gay inuendos either..
A ritual which i was thankfull spared, but witnessed, is getting people savagely beaten up upon arrival at the prison.
It happened a little something like this..
A group of guys approached the new russian guy, someone who looks very scared and bewildered (cough cough) and safed him up. Few days down the line, the dude was approached and told he
"needs to put the work in, kid"
Sha told him
"if you don't go and punch that guy in the face, we're all going to beat the shit out of you. now."
Faced with punching one guy in the face, compared to four, the joke is in motion.
..but the guy getting punched in the face is one of Sha's freinds. M.
This dude looks extremely similar to Busta Rhymes, apart from he's a lot bigger, without dreadlocks, and a lot of very very nasty scars all over his arms and neck. If i took a running fly kick into this guys face, i would most likely break my foot, and then be in grave. in that order.
So this new guy then goes over to M, while he is getting his haircut, and punches him in the face..
M proceeds to bodyslam this poor guy about 25 times, which is met by much laughter.
Another golden nugget from Sha...
In his last prison (Rikers) he was going to get something out of his room, and noticed a note that had been placed on his pillow. it said
"go look in the microwave, now"
off Sha goes to the microwave, inside he finds another note..
"go look in the sink, now"
off he goes to the sink...until he notices that hanging above the sink is a massive poster of a guy getting fucked in the butt.
He told me even the prison officers were in on the joke, and were creasing..jokeries