Monday, 6 December 2010

General Population

After a brief period on 11 North, i am moved down to 9N.
 The units look similar to shit in the program Oz. A main floor, with 3 'tiers' that have an upstairs row of cells, and a downstairs row of cells. The first thing i notice is a tall, bugged out looking dude, doing the running man dance in the middle of the main floor. He dances over to me, introduces himself (WERD T!) then dances off again..Charming!
 The guard then walks me to my cell. It's downstairs. At the back. Just about far enough, that if it was shank o clock, no one would hear jack shit. Great.
 I'm half Turkish, quatre Polish, quartre English. I've always considered myself Turkish. Like most Turks, i have a big nose, am good at arguing, fucking, and being extremely stubborn. No suprises there. But for some reason, i have never felt so white in my life than at this moment..standing next to at least twenty four EXTREMELY unimpressed looking hispanic, Dominican, Puerto Rican, African American, and Columbian individuals, who compared to me, all look like they're entering Mr Universe and could win.. I felt i had two choices. Either start talking like Bricktop from Snatch, spouting breeze about 'shooters' and 'ponys' and make out that i won Brittains Hardest (but that might include demonstrating that i can kick through ten wooden doors back to back) or, i could just be Real with these guys. Realness always pays off, seriously.
 So my new cellmate. He's a dude in his 40s, name's Ox, has a swollen head that looks like an apple, but seems really safe! Plus, he works in the kitchen, so it's munch o clock up in here!
 I explain to him and his freinds how crazy the dude looked who i almost had to share a cell with, and they calmy reply
"Oh yeh? Don't worry kid, our guy you swapped with is probably kicking his ass all over the fucking place right now'

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