Thursday, 27 September 2012

that stingray bodied that n****r

The weather is changing,
evenings and mornings are starting
to get a little chilly up in here..

To combat this i just made a cup of tea.


It's late in the evening.

Not late enough for us to be locked in,
but just about late enough for me to start
feeling tired and depleted of energy..

And patience.

Earlier today i was feeling good!!

There was one point of the day,
i'd just finished a good workout with a Spanish
dude that used to live in my neck of the woods,
an after parting ways i jumped into the shower
to wash my clothes..

All i could think of was how i only
have a few months to go 'til i'm out this place..

Whether that's home..

(That would really. Really be nice.)

Or another facility..


At least i will be leaving THIS place..

Getting away from the same old negative,
exhausting attitudes and behaviour that i gotta
put up with day-in day-out..


Just a bit more to go..

I CAN deal with it..


(No problemo)

As the hours pass and the daily interactions start to build
on top of each other..

One individual after the next..

Asking me my opinion on the same thing they asked me yesterday..

Only to completely ignore and disregard everything i have told them..

"Yeah but.."


It's very tiring..

Even someone that has actually been the CAUSE of a lot of my
recent grievances offering me some food, some GOOD food,
hasn't really done anything at all to improve
my shitty mood..

Perhaps i'm just being ungrateful.

Nothing particularly bad has happened today..

No one has actually SUPRISED me with their behaviour..


Quite a few GOOD things have happened!!

A couple freinds sent me some bread so
i can get me some coffee and oatmeal next week..

Almost have enough for a pair of sneakers too!!

My toe pokes out the right joint i'm flossing at the moment.

It'd definitely be cool if i can pick up a new pair.

Then i won't have to look like a tramp anymore.

I might still look like a tramp in the face..

But there ain't nothin' i can do about that for now..


I also heard a few people recieved the letters
and sketches i'd put in the mail..

Which is always a result!!

I got my haircut yesterday..

Chopped off my beard..

So i'm at the least looking a little fresh,
got some important things coming up this week,
or at least last i heard i had them coming up..

I'm not sure why my mood is so foul at the moment.

Perhaps i should start eating meals in the evening?

That might also be a good look..

On a real tip..

I'm feeling myself growing distant from certain people in
my immediate surroundings.

I don't actually see it as a bad thing though..

I see it as me having a better understanding on
the nature of particular relationships i have with people,
whether they are healthy and positive..

And if not..

Understanding that i am doing us BOTH a dis-service by
continuing such a symbiotic relationship.

Sadly for me..

In a situation like the one i find myself held in..

You can't just up-sticks an breeze.



I only have a couple of months to go..

Tomorrow i'll fast..


Take care of all my affairs..

And pray..

Things will work themselves out..

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