keeps walking back an forth past my door..
He keeps looking in..
Then when i make frowned eye contact..
Spins off in the other direction..
Ordinarily i would go over to the
door an ask homeboy what's good..
But this dude is clearly just bored.
Hence the pacing.
By the way..
I'm fasting today.
An it's about..
Six twenty six in the evening.
Time is passing pretty well today!!
is that nobody owes me anything in this life.
Not my parents..
No matter WHO it is and what relation
to me they might be..
They don't owe me jack shit.
What i might have done for them,
Thinking this was helps me become more self sufficient,
and in turn aids me to take responsibility for every aspect
of my life and the directions that it has taken over the years.
It eliminates the practice of blaming people for your own
quality of life and rids you of excuses for why you are not
moving forward to a better standard of living.
Most importantly it gives me the ability
to act and behave exactly how i want to without any
external circumstances having an effect on my choices
When relying on or expecting a certain reaction from
an external source then there will always be the underlying
possibility for disapointment.
I don't think there is any admirable qualities
about living a life full of suffering.
There is no one who is going to pat you on the back
or give you some kind of prize at the end of the road
for all the accumulated years of suffering you experienced
in this life..
So if possible it makes sense to avoid it.
Dont get it fucked up though..
Despite this piece of writing being primarily fueled by an incidient
concerning a bowl of food being cooked for an individual who did
not acknowledge the act or show any kind of appreciation..
I didn't really set out to just talk a load of shit,
freestyling based loosely around an accumulation of poor vocabulary skills
and a bunch of skim-read self help books and Buddhism philosophies..
Even thought at this point that seems to be exactly what i've done.
My intentions were to get the point across,
that as an adult it really does not do us any good to be in a position
where we expect anything from people and subsequently letting another
persons reactions to a situation effect your state of mind and how you
go on to behave in the company of others..
Just so what you like to do.
Whatever comes naturally to you and you enjoy to do,
go ahead and do it without having any worries about what
people will say or how they will react..
Sometimes i can do this..
Like right now for instance..
You've caught me slipping.