Thursday, 13 September 2012

finishing a 24 hour fast..

"If you're solid, well defined, and in emotional control - with a good sense of your
infinite self - you have a confidence that brings a solidity to your energy, as distinct
from the chaotic pattern that is normally projected. Your defense lies in consolidation
and silent strength. And in being disciplined and well contained." - Stuart Wilde

When I'm under stress..

It's not down to the specifics of the situation
at hand nor a lack of an answer..

It's lack of focus.

Like most people,
the majority of questions i ask in life,
i already know the answer to..

I'm at the point where i KNOW,
as long as i maintain, practice discipline
and remember to stay focused..

I can deal with any situation in life.

I see this human experience as being divided
into two parts and understanding this is what
helps me cope with life.

It's like two halves put together.

Our soul which comes from spirit,
coupled with the human bodies that is organic.

Similar to the concept of a 'ghost in the machine',
our body being the machine that we use to experience
this vibrational frequency and our body being the
'ghost entity' that controls or inhabits the machine.

I understand that a lot of life's problems are down to
these two different components wanting very different
things and both going through some kind of power struggle
in order to satisfy each part.

The spirit is yearning for a higher experience of conscious level,
which comes from its source being of a higher intelligence.

The earthly body it inhibits is craving for
earthly pleasures and sensory experiences.

Hence struggling to focus on one or the other
and it leading to problems..

When my focus and discipline is strong,
and i do this by fasting and other things that
take my focus off of physical amenities,
i can view my own existence in very simple
terms and break down any perceived 'problems'
with relative ease..


If i lose focus..

And more precisely, let ego get involved,
a fairly simple set of circumstances, one that i can view
and dissect to a point that it has a clear cut outcome,
turns into a clouded personal affair..

Emotion and visual instability are brought to the table.

My ego turns it into some kind of personal issue
that warrants emotional investment in order to not only
resolve the issue but it makes the driving factor in whether
it has been resolved or not..

Whether my ego is pleased with the outcome.

Ego instructs me that if the outcome is NOT in my favor,
some kind of intolerable injustice has been served to me.

Or even..

To 'us'..


A willingness to let go of personal involvement in
communications and the resolution of jail-house disputes
and general relationship maintainment while in here..

Understanding the destructive practice of feeding and being
dependant on the insatiable satisfaction of my ego..

These have helped a lot.


NOT diminishing the value of others opinions or blanketing
my thoughts or opinions as inferior just to sooth a dispute..


It's understanding the long term outcome on both parties when
getting into a dispute with someone, whatever the topic might be,
what outcome will actually be better for the two of us and how
my behavior when interacting with people effects my long term
peace of mind..

"Your best defense is to have little critisism and judgement of others ; and no rancor,
hatred or animosity. The best defense is to have nothing to defend. The more you're not
locked into reality via critisism and definition, the more opaque you become" - Stuart Wilde

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