Standing in the middle of the floor with a puzzled look
splashed across my mug, i clock a familiar face catching at a
dimly lit table.
I'm not cool with the other heads he's cotching with.
Which can easily turn into a bigger problem.
"Yo you mind if i join you?"
A Deep collective grunt is released into the air,
so i slump into the seat next to the wall an recline..
"Wanna do some Bible studies with us?"
I'm not a Christian.
Nor do i follow any particular organised religion.
But i'm also not an asshole.
I'm less of an asshole than i used to be.
So not wanting to offend,
i agree an kick back..
then do a little recap on what the fuck just happened and their own personal
interpretations of the text..
Quite a few members of the group had a bit of difficulties reading
and kept asking me for help pronouncing shit, which i didn't mind,
plus after a little bit of re-assurance and a couple positive words,
confidence in reading picked up an the problems seem to disapear.
It's amusing that they made the mistake of linking my Brittish
upbringing with being intelligent.
One i'm used to by now.
It's been almost four bloody years i've been on American soil and it never
ceases to amaze me how many people assume Brits are clever.
Oh and they think we all have fucked up grills.
Every person that has told me this has had some next piano dentist grill
or a mouth full of tramped out fillings..
I found this whole discussion part very interesting,
hearing each persons interpretation and vews on their own
spirituality and mortality.
I kept quiet for the majority of this period.
There where a handful of times when i had to fight the urge to
spew out an endliss list of contradictions i thought i saw in the text..
I kept quiet.
As i SHOULD..
Years ago this would not have been possible.
My big brother gave me some advice early on into my incarceration,
which i use often and saves me a lot of grief and problems concerning
my voicing my opinions on certain subjects..
"Not everything needs to be addressed my n****r"
Things did take eventually take a turn for the worse.
For once it wasn't my fault either.
One individual took it upon himself to start ultra aggressively
picking on the other members of the group, whenever their view point
differed or clashed with his own..
He seemed to have a particular taste for the timid, quiet,
less threatening members of the group.
I did not like so much.
At one point i was attempting to explain my view on a certain subject..
How i don't see the point in worrying about things that are out of my hands,
if it's in my hands it's under control, if it's not then there's nothing i can do about it,
making worrying a completely fruitless exercise..
An this young Jam-rock kid said he agreed with this idea.
Sadly for him..
Resulted in him being pelted with all kinds of verbal horseshit
from this dude for about fifteen minutes straight.
Shit was LOOOOONG!!
It was fucking exhausting just being at the table.
This dude did EVERYTHING possible to humiliate and ridicule the kid!!
Shit was bugged out!!
"How the FUCK you gonna side with this cracker (safe for that) when i see you
fuckin' cryin' like a lil BITCH, whinin' bout your punk-ass girlfreind, thas BULL shit my n****r!!"
The young kid calmly explained that yes,
he does get sad, but uses his faith to overcome it,
he prays and his worries are momentarily
taken away from him.
His explanation did nowt in soothing the moody man,
who just proceeded to, in a rather sophisticated and educated fashion,
as one might imagine a professor or some kind of scholar might act,
folded his arms, pouted his lips and stared at the ceiling tapping
his foot on the floor.
Then before Jamaica could finish..
Grabbed his bible and stomped off to his cell.
The act was finished with a tremendously child-like slamming
of his cell door behind him.
It was HIS Bible studies group.
The session was pretty good.
It had it's ups and downs,
but i enjoyed sitting and talking with the group.
Quite a few of them gave the impression that their faith helped
them be better people and gave their life some kind of direction.
I liked this a lot.
It showed the exact point of the Bible and other religious texts..
At least how i see them anyway..
Helping people better themselves.
I don't see them as books of *actual* events that you take *literally*,
all the mircales and laser beams and all that stuff i don't take too seriously,
instead i see them as collections of metaphorical lessons that can help you
live a more peaceful, compassionate existence on this planet.
Which can only be a good thing.
If taken that way.
Oh before i forget!!
That bit in the Bible that talks about a spaceship is DEEP!!
Don't beleive me?
Find out for yourself..
Ezekiel 1.1 - 7.27
'First vision of God'
how the search for happiness offers the benefits not only for the individual but
for the individuals family and for society at large as well" - HH Dalai Lama