The last thing i recall doing is being in a super swanky hotel room,
sucking on Lindsay Lohans nipples..But she is nowhere to be seen,
and the hotel suite i was making extremely good use of now doesn't
seem so swish as ten minutes ago..
Seen. Back to reality.
Nevermind, time to get up..
I hear shouting, cursing, and the familiar line
"all you n****rs is BUMS" screamed from outside the cell..
It can only be the sophisticated genlteman at the neighbourhood card table!
"Yo timmyboy, while you was in dreamland, i been skunkin this n****r all
mother fuckin' mornin"
I can't help laughing all the time in here, if i didn't laugh i'd probably be
hanging from a noose, so i'm lucky that in MCC it's joketime 24/7..
"That's all you do Timmyboy, always laughin..all i ever hear from you is
'woo-woo-woo' an 'kee-kee-kee'"
..This just makes me laugh even more..
"Look at this fuckin' Turkish n****r, always 'woo-woo-woo'in', bet you
ain't gonna be laughin when they send you to that compound with
all the scary n****rs!"
I stop laughing.
"Especially when they find out Timmy's a crip! Look at his hand!"
..The whole unit goes silent..
"Show them your fingers :D "
..For many years now, i've been hitting up my crew B6K. It initially was a collective of kids
putting on punk and hardcore shows in and around London and Guildford, back in England in
the early 2000's..There's a few people around the world hitting it up in one shape or form..
Anyway, i took it upon myself to get each letter tattood on the side of my fingers, midway
through 2010..Perhaps it wasn't the smartest of choices, but it looked good, and at the time
i was high on drugs, blowjobs, and generally didn't have my best thinking cap on for the majority
of the year..Hence now writing a blog from prison! :D
Since coming into jail, someone informed me that most of the gang members that are
in here are 'Bloods'.
Didn't think anything of it..Until one of my freinds saw my B6K tattoo, and explained to me
that BK stands for BLOOD KILLER, a Crip gang, and a 6 is the Crips sign.
I spend the next twenty minutes,
that feels like two hours, explaining to around fifteen hench dudes, many that are
Bloods, that i had no idea about the Crips, what B6K meant, and was not a member
of any kind of Crips chapter..A tense silence follows..
..Everyone starts laughing!
"We's only fuckin with you timmyboy, if we thought you was Crip,
my man (points at large violent looking individual) would've hit
you in the face with a banger, straight up"
A banger is a knife.
"Yo, Timmboy's a straight Blood, look, he got a red beard an everything!"
People are falling around laughing at the super pranged out Englishman..While
everyone is laughing i take the opportunity to adjust my shorts, so the chocolate
pudding that was just delivered red hot into my pants doesn't spill out onto the floor..
"Yo, you know we gotta jump you in now Mickey blue eyes?"