I've been recieving a few letters and emails recently.
Firstly and foremost, Thankyou.
The most painful feeling i have had to endure in this debaucle has been isolation.
It started shortly after i was arrested.
They took my phone.
As i had been smoking wayyy too much weed in the time leading upto my dramatic capture (i was hung over, in my boxer shorts with my dick hanging out), my brain was fried. I knew no telephone numbers off by heart,
my phone was my only way to contact the few people i knew in this city.
No one knew i was in here. I had no way of letting my family know what had happened, which was a very daunting
prospect for this Englishman in federal prison..
The few lames that i knew in New York, faced with the reality that i was no longer there in person
to entertain them/bring some kind of excitement to their existances, were flaking on me hard and fast..
Individuals that once reffered to me with loving terms like 'brother', now had all kinds of whack ass excuses
for not filling out the visitors form, getting on a train, and coming to keep me company..
"I'm scared to come see you in jail"
Motherfucker, how the FUCK do you think i feel!?!?
I've always been a very trusting person. I try to see the best in people, and
give them the benefit of the doubt..I enjoy seeing the people around me happy.
Until this recent hailstorm of diarhea hit me, 'people' had generally treated me well.
Because of this, i put my trust and faith in them..but i also have the tendency to expect
people to act how i would, and hold the same values as me..
In my brain, i just (wrongly i might add) assumed that if i ever got into any trouble,
my wife and my freinds would help me.
From my arrest,
i was in Big trouble. In little china..but i didn't have the Chan Sing or the Wing Kong,
or a six demon bag at my disposal..i had a handful of freinds who were showing me that
they were as genuine as my turkish aresmani jeans, and a 'wife' that was showing
her true colours..a cross between Heather Mills, and an incontinent Roland Rat..
As the days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months, i felt like i had been thrown
to the lions by the one person i had put all my love, faith and trust into..
..The world we live in, and life in general, is full of suprises..
Although i had lost the support of one, since i started this blog and let the world know about
me, my predicament and what i am going through, i am gaining love and support from complete
strangers around the world..It recently has had me very emotional when i think about what has happened,
and what is happening day by day to me.
Good people are out there, and are reaching out to me.
I feel asif i have been dropped by one, but picked up by many.
I just want to say thankyou for every email, letter, book, anything people
have done to reach out to me.
Each one made me smile, got me though my day, lifted my spirits and reminded me that despite
the bars on the windows, no visits and my current situation,
I am not alone.
Keep em Coming :)