Everybody in here thinks they have bars.
They don't. They can't spit, their 'bars' are fucking lame, they try to rhyme 'shit' with 'shit',not in a cool grime way, in a i'm too stupid to think of anything that can rhyme way..Each day that goes past when i hear someone disrespecting my ears with their jacobs crackers lyrics, i'm getting closer and closer to just busting some D Double bars just for the sake of it..
Some people are jokes though. They know they can't actually spit, but do so purely for the fuckie, u get me..
One of these Bozerinos comes upto me yesterday while i'm waiting to access the dusty fartbox they call a computer..
I'm unimpressed. Most people's attempts at English accents sound like a cross between Australian and someone who is
mid way through having a stroke..
"CAN I BUY A TUNA PATTIE OFF YOU FELLA FOR 200 EUROS"
"we don't use euros mate."
This leaves him in a state of confusion, despite me explaining that we use pounds not euros, and you can't use dollars
in England, i end up having to abandon the subject before this guy has a hernia from thinking too much with his prostate-like brain..a couple minutes later, he runs upto me with his radio on..
"Yo..Yo...check this out"
..and proceeds to spit bar to bar every word of the song below..i was impressed! But after a while it kind of got embaressing as a big crowd formed around us, and then whenever the scratching parts came in he would pretend to scratch using my tshirt..in all fairness, dude wasn't too bad!
It gets later in the evening, and i go chill with some of the card playing motherfuckers..
I don't usually play, i just sit there to catch jokes and observe what is happening on the unit..you find out about
things that are going down, and just general stupid fuckries..
People usually look at me as someone to confirm 'facts' about people who are sitting at the card table..things along the lines of "What is he Timmyboy? Tell him. TELL HIM!" but i never tell them. I'm not calling anyone a 'bum ass n*****r'. If i did i can just imagine an alarm going off, and me getting smacked until i exploded like a human pinada..
Another example is when people are playing casino, this happens the most..someone, usually someone fucking HENCH, will start screaming at me..only me..
"TELL HIM WHAT A REAL N****R KEEP TIMMYBOY, TELL HIM! TELL HIM WHAT A REAL N****R KEEP BLUE EYES!"
i sheepishly reply...
"DAMN MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT, A REAL N****R ALWAYS KEEP A MOTHERFUCKING 9"
Then slams the 9 down on the table so hard the ground shakes...
I know how to act though. I'm learning.
I get there and someone asks me if i have any granola bars..i do, but i know that me and my cellie are gonna rinse them down in the next few days, so i kindly decline, using the monicker "nah man this is my last one"
..the guy i say this to is huge...and looks like not only does he not believe me, but he's extremely disapointed in me for lying about it..
I feel bad.
"Lemme go and check :D "
I go and get him one. He doesn't say thankyou. In fact, he swipes it out of my hand with great velocity..
My cellie and his partners are playing poker at the opposite table, one of them cells over
"Yo timmy, be careful over there with them dirty no good n****rs"
The Granola guy replies
"HE'S BEING CAREFUL, THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST TOLD ME HE DIDN'T HAVE NO MORE GRANOLAS LEST!"
Sha turns around with a big smile on his face..
"He's learning..Turkish n****rs gettin' hip to ALL that shit"