Sunday, 8 May 2011

gimme some

So we're locked in the cell.

As usual, instead of using the toilet before we
are locked down, my cellie waited until the door was locked
and i'm in the cell to take a shit.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

 I'm listening to some tunes on the radio,
with my sweatshirt pulled over my face in a vain attempt
to blog some of the toxic smog billowing from the toilet only
a few feet away from where i sleep..

"whad up dog?"

 Instantly something is telling me he's doing something weird.
We usually talk while he's shitting, but my spider sense is tingling and i
know that he's doing something or planning on doing something foul..

"Check out them dudes on the scaffolding"

 I know there is no scaffolding outside. For fuck sake i look out the same
window at the same street every day, there is no scaffolding.

..Foolishly, i turn my head to look out the window..

 As my head turns back, out of my peripheral vision i spot something
next to my bed. I know what it is without directly looking at it.
 Right next to my pillow, and the cup of tea i was enjoying,
is a piece of toilet paper with a massive chunk of shit on it.

I'm lost for words.

 He on the other hand is crying with laughter,
stamping his feet on the floor with joy like a small child..when he stops
laughing, he's like

"Dog that ain't nothin', i got my brother so bad one time, check this.."

 His brother comes back from the store, has bought a drink and a big sandwhich.
He eats half, and leaves the other half in the fridge for later.
 My cellie comes home, and notices the sandwhich. He's hungry. Without a second
thought, he empties the contents of the sandwhich into two pieces of bread, all the guts,
meat, cheese, lettuce, everything, and yams it down leaving only the bun in the fridge.

 He then decides to take a shit. He tells me he 'catches the shit' with some toilet paper as
it's being squeezed out his ass, then takes it into the kitchen, puts it in the sandwhich.
 Brother is nowhere in sight, so he goes outside to look for him, an finds him playing
in the street..

"Yo lemme get of that sandwhich"

"nah i'm saving it!"

"fuck that, im'a go eat it now"

 An with that he runs back to the house, pretending that he's going to eat the sandwhich..
His brother chases up to him, an runs to the kitchen to eat it first..

 Thinking he has the upper hand, he takes his time making a nice cold drink with ice,
gets a plate ready, and goes to grab the sandwhich out of the fridge. He opens it slowly,
and instantly knows something is up..unwrapping the foil, he smells it, an throws the
sandwhich across the room screaming..


"Look at this bitch ass n****r tellin' on me!"


 Mum comes into the kitchen and realises what
has happened

"what the FUCK is wrong with you!?"


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