Sunday, 17 February 2013

i'll tell you

Apparently a water pipe busted on 42nd street in Manhattan last week.

That's the story anyway..

Since then apparently most of Manhattan
has been without flushing toilets and drinking water.

Luckily i took a fat shit before all this happened.

Slow flushed that motherfucker down the toilet
just before any bullshit came into play.

Other motherfuckers weren't so lucky..

Just try for a second to imagine the afternoon delight of
having to be in the same vacinity of a freshly curled out
jailhouse turd..

It's not in water either like in your average toilet.

Oh no..

It's just resting on top of a load of toilet paper.

An you have to be locked in the same
room as the poo..


Pure violation..

I remember this one time when i was locked in the cell,
my bunkie took it upon himself to shit in the toilet while
the toilet would not flush.

I don't think i've ever been so angry in my entire life.

It wasn't funny in the slighest..

I had to a thick orange blanket around my face as
tightly as possible and i could only breath in very short
breaths out of my mouth with my eyes closed huddled
in the fetal position.

I was so angry i was shaking.

I shook with rage.

I can put up with a lot of bullshit.


That shit was too much though.

It wasn't funny.

I didn't see the funny side of it later.

And quite frankly i don't want to talk about it anymore.

It is possible to flush a toilet when there's no water
running in the toilet.

Or the other option is shitting in a trash can.

It's a very small target though..

You gotta keep one hand on the door handle
incase some fucking idiots tries to open the door
an exposure you squatting, coupled with the super
serious matter of not knocking it over.

It more than likely that it has someone else's shit in it too.

Perhaps even three different people's..

Seperated by thin layers of toilet paper..

Failing that like i said you can always flush the toilet
by pouring a huge amount of water into it to push all
the badness away..

It's tricky though and really shouldn't be done on your own..

"You been workin' out a thousand years an you can't lift that shit?"


No i can't..

It's full of water..

It'd just be stupid to try
and do it on your own..

As always he thought he knew better..

"It smells like piss in here dog"


Yeah it does smell of piss in here now yeah..


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