Sunday, 27 May 2012

Today i had two bowls of spaghetti

I've talked to many people, read things here and there,
spent time with individuals who are schooled on certain faiths and the belief
systems behind them.

Pastors, Imams, Jews, Buddhists..

I still wouldn't say i officially subscribe to any specific religion,
each has it's own good points and other points that i don't quite agree with
or see sense in, but i still feel like i have a more concrete visual, or at least
some form of understanding, concerning my own existence and it's meaning,
perhaps a bit further along the road to answering some of life's more, erm,
challenging questions..

Why are we here?

What is our purpose?

How did we come to be?

It is said that man's body was created from dirt, blood and water,
his creation was based on organic materials from the earth,
then God put his breath into man which gave him his spirit.

His soul.

Meaning that man is a creation that consists
of this earth and a higher force.

This idea goes on to explain the reasoning behind man's behavior,
your earthly body is constantly craving for earthly pleasures,

-sensory stimulations
-material possessions and so on..

The other part of you, your spirit,
as it is not of this world it craves for something higher
than man's earthly pleasures, it has a higher purpose,
a higher calling i guess.

These two opposing 'motives' are the core
of mans struggle between mind and body..

At the end of man's time on the earth,
it is only fitting that his earthly body returns to which it
came from and the spirit will also return to its source.

I not only identify with this theory but i also use it as
a very all-inclusive answer to many of my questions in life,
particularly concerning our behavior and how we spend
our time on this earth and the reasoning for our actions,
thoughts, for me it sheds light and explains a lot of shit.

It doesn't answer all my questions though..

"Curious is when a n****r wanna SEE what happen'..
inquisitive is when a n****r wanna KNOW what the fuck happen'.."

I have a tendency of thinking up questions that, somehow, make people mad.

REAL mad.

Real quickly too..


I pray at least twice a day,
once in the morning when i wake and once before i sleep.

Like i said i don't follow any particular religion, but i believe that there is a higher
power and praying helps me feel more in tune with myself and opens up a lot of doors for me,
it's like i think more clearly and also feel like i develop more as a human being doing so,
if that makes sense..


One day something popped into my head and i couldn't quite
shake it off, so sought out some help..

It's widely believed and accepted by most if not all religions that
the entity known as God is all-knowing, he knows everything about you,
your past, your future, he is beyond the realms of time..

The Biggest homie.


Keeping with this line of thinking, stupid remarks aside,
it is also pretty much accepted that God will always give you
what is best for you, he knows what's best for you and will
always be there for you in some way shape or form.

Now if this is the case, what i couldn't shake off,
was what is the point in asking for things when you pray?

If he is all-knowledgable or whatever an knows the ins and outs of
everything in the universe, he surely knows exactly what it is you want
before you put it in 'prayer format' and will give you what is best for you,
so doesn't this make the act of praying for something specific,
an item, a request, whatever it is, doesn't this make it obsolete?

A waste of time?

I got mixed responses..

The overall answer that came from most was that you should think of it like
a child asking a parent for something, the parent is not going to give the child
something that is detrimental to them and they usually know what their
child wants, but they enjoy the act of actually being asked by their kid.

I didn't and don't really buy this,
not only that but to the annoyance of anyone who i asked about this subject,
another question flew out of my mouth that managed to push them over the edge..

Most people didn't even respond to it an some even told me to fuck off..

Which was nice!


If God knows everything and is beyond the realms of time, he knows exactly
what you are thinking and are going to think, so isn't the premise of asking him
for something assuming that he *needs* to be told?

In effect questioning the wisdom/power of God and what he knows?

That you assume he needs to be told what is on your mind is, in a way,
your assumption that God isn't aware of your needs or wants?

Like i said,
as a whole the reaction to that question was one of unified annoyance
from most, they simply referred back to the example of the child asking
the father and how i didn't understand because i had no children, which i replied to
by saying that them comparing their relationship with their child to the connection
of a sentient being and God could be seen as blasphemous as they were, direclt or indirectly,
comparing themselves TO God..

You can probably guess how that comment was recieved..

A moment of honesty,
perhaps subconsciously i was questioning their beliefs or challenging them,
i used to do stupid shit like that all the time when i was younger. If i was in a pub or something
an some Christian 'bible bashers' as they were known to be called at the time, would come and
try to push their belief on me, i would usually come up with some un-answerable question that
was only really fueled by a desire to cause annoyance..

So taking a step back and looking at things as a whole,
perhaps i was wading into those retarded waters once again,
but on a real tip i was actually very curious concerning the aspect
of how the validity in putting specific things into a prayer and whether
it mattered or not..


I explained my query to this to one guy who patiently listened to me,
and said he understood my questions and that they were completely valid.


He went on to say that books have actually been written about this subject
and i was right to question it, but ultimately it is a question only you can answer by the
peace of mind and personal attributes that come from your prayer practice.

We went on to have a very long talk..

I explained to him that in my own case, i felt a great sense of relief when i concentrated
my prayer on being thankful for the things i have, the experiences i have been blessed to have done,
in general just appreciated things for what they are and hoping that my family, freinds and loved ones
are kept safe, healthy and happy..i went to to explain that when my prayers were concentrated on asking for
something specific, what i'm sure you could easily guess what that is,
it just resulted in craving which ultimately led to suffering..

If God is all-knowing then he knows what i want,
me asking God for these things is not going to result in me getting it unless i am *supposed* to have it,
if it is in my best interests, which in turn makes sense for me to leave it in Gods hands as he will make
that decisions whether i like it or not and whether i ask for it or not..

He paused after i finished talking and smiled..

It was very refreshing to speak to someone who did not take offence by my questions,
he didn't see my curiosity as me, in some way, questioning his religion or challenging him
to validate his beliefs, i genuinely got the impression he was more intrigued by the question
and my point of view on the subject..

His explanation though was that it really is up to the individual on how they wish to pray,
but also gave an example from a religious text which seemed to perfectly fit in with the
conversation and my thoughts on the topic.

He spoke of a story about an elderly man, a holy man, who preached the word of God but was
severely crippled with illness, his wife had to carry him from town to town in order for him to
preach the word of God.

Many years passed and his wife began to grown frustrated, asking why,
if he had such a deep connection with God, why he didn't ask to be healed?

The elderly mans reply,
was that God knew about his illness and understood his pain and hardship better than he ever could,
nobody knew about the elderly mans situation better than God, so if and when God saw fit, he would
heal him without the man having to ask for it to be done.


Personally i don't see any religious book, ANY, as being a recorder or document of actual
events that took place. My view on it is that they are stories compiled to help you with daily life,
stories that have a meaning that you can place to your own life and give you some confirmation,
some faith in the human spirit and what we can overcome.

I don't take any of it too seriously,
but i like to keep an open mind to all religions.

As long as you look at any chosen topic in the right way,
i think you can learn something.


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