A panoramic view of Nothingness

I'm looking out the window..

Leaning on it actually.

One arm behind my back in a typical jailhouse fashion,
(everyone does this and expect me to do it in the future)
the other above my head with my forehead resting on my
greasy forearm.

I have cocoa butter smeared all over my arms,
something i picked up in here.

The weather is nice and the sun is shining.

I can see a plane flying high in the sky..

I've been told that the best way to get your body fat
as low as possible, along with a stable diet, is to do a lot of cardio
exercises while sweating your balls off.

We got this Stepmaster joint an recently i've been rinsing it again,
clad in a pair of long johns, shorts, a long sleeve thermal tshirt and
a very crude Rambo style headband that i fashioned from a
t-shirt sleeve..

Today i spent 80 minutes creating a HUGE puddle of sweat,
burnt (according to the machine) 1000 calories, all the while
watching violent criminals proclaiming their love for the Disney
film John Carter..

"THAT N****R'S OFFICIAL!"

:/

I might create a puddle of sweat and in the process, end up resembling
a greyhound dog that's just jumped into a swimming pool of piss,
but at least i clean the machine after i use it..

Others do not..

Infact they have no problem leaning on the machine when it's covered in sweat,
while i'm panting an leaking bodily fluids on the motherfucker,

"YO! THERE'S BARE SWEAT!"

A simple wipe of their hand on the back of their neck,
an they're good to go..

After cleaning the machine today,
i had to wait before jumping in the shower.

My brother was taking a 'Brontosaurus shit',
so i sat outside and observed for a few minutes..

So many people from so many different walks of life,
all in the same predicament, trying their best to get
their lives back.

All trying desperately to go home to their families..

It was hard for me hearing and seeing people on the phone
and computers today, reading emails and hearing their children
wish them a happy fathers day.

Asking them when they are coming home..

"Daddy is working! I'll be home soon!I love you!"

I'm sure it's hard to explain to a kid that you're being held somewhere
and you don't know when you'll see them again, so i understand the people
that don't tell them they're in here..kids are smart though..

"Mommy said you're in jail"

:/

I dont have children.

I like to think that when i do, my experiences here will help me be
a good dad to my son or daughter and, just maybe, that's why i have
had to endure all that has transpired the last few years of my life..

Who knows..

Before i ponder any deeper..

It's joketime.

Always be aware of your surroundings..

"TWO TUNAS THIS SILLY N****R'S ASLEEP IN TWENNY SECONDS!!"

Everyone's just laughin'..

:)

Me included..

Why the guy is lookin' at ME i DON'T know!!

I ain't got nothin'a do with it..

:D

Anyways..

He WAS stupid..

Shouldn't have been down here in the first place..

Enough fucking around.

I need to take a shower now.

I go grab my towel, soap, shampoo and razor (pubes),
smile and wave at my 260 pound naked black brother,
laugh at his overly enthusiastic straining noises on the toilet,
and to the entertainment of the crowd outside,
leave the door open..

"A'IGHT N****R! WANNA PLAY MOTHERFUCKIN' GAMES!? I GOT
SOMETHING FOR YOU, SILLY N****R!!!"

:D

Shower time..

Scrubbing myself with a bar of soap,
before individually taking off each item of clothing,
scrubbin' it, rinsin' it, then hanging it on
the shower curtain.

It's fucking LONG but at least it means i always
got clean clothes and dun leave sweaty garms
about the place.

Another tradition?

Hitting reaches with a soapy sock on the shower walls,
it's about the best i can do at the moment, that and using
this bottle of nasal spray to knock out handstyles on this towel
we use for a table cloth..

:(

By the time i'm through shaving, brushing and cleaning myself,
rinsed all the water out my clothes, hung them on the chair,
got dressed, put lotion on my arms and back, shaved, combed
my hair, clipped my nails, wacked on some deodorant and two
generous handfulls of industrial strength hemerroid ointment,
i'm ready to pass the fuck out..

After a little praying,
i peel and chop up some apples
for my cereal.

A little ice in my cup is good too,
i pour in some milk and let it chill for a minutes..

While i'm waiting i go stand at the window..

I'm watching this plane as it rises higher and higher above the city..