Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Chomp on the hammer

Being in jail is fucking bate.

I'm surrounded by ignorant cock smoking retards that
constantly polute my precious breathing space with their foul,
fecal infused breath.
 They force me to relenquish the precious little
moments of the time i have left on this earth answering border-line
retarded questions such as..

"where is Paris in England?"


"how do you spell mhmm?"

There is some form of temporary salvation from
this brain destroying shithole, in the form of visitations..

I've been lucky enough to have some people jump on planes to come
and keep me company for a few hours.

This usually consists of catching
jokes, eating some biscuits, my visitor getting groped, my penis profusely
ejaculating into my brown standard-issue prison jumpsuit, me getting
groped by my visitor, then with a sticky ectoplasmic hand i wave them
farewell as they return to the human realm, leaving me in the demon realm
waiting for the Chojin.


On a serious note, i love getting visits.


The thought of spending some time with another human being that i
know has made the effort to travel all the way just to see how i am doing,
knowing that someone gives that much of a fuck about me,
makes me very happy and my time in here way more bareable.

To those that have made the effort, i love you all, thankyou.


It's always a fucking creasefest on the dancefloor,
you never know what the fuck you are going to see or hear.

..The standard of conversational pleasantries exchanged between
the magnificent stock of male cattle imprisoned in this institution and the
high class amazonian godesses accompanying them on their 'bids' is always
something one can marvel at and really aspire to, such a magnificent
level of class and respectability..

"Fuck you talkin' bout n****r,
i ain't fuckin' your mother no more,
tell that fat bitch to holla!"


I have a potential visit coming up.

My partners in the unit have been dropping jewels of wisdom on me,
with the intent of passing down the knowledge on how i can maximise
this opportunity for female contact as much as humanly possible..

"Yo son, first cut a hole in your jumpsuit."

..Sounds promising..

"You can get a bitch to jerk the bone on the sly, no problem Kid"

As you can tell, i'm getting advice from the best.

The cream of the crop.

I'm talking about dudes that have actually managed to FUCK on
the visitors floor, in front of a room full of wives, grandmothers,
children, great grandmothers, like it ain't a ting. U get me.

Pure. Jokers.

despite me and my ever erect Sujuk's insatiable craving for any
type of female contact, i am still trying to carry myself with some of
the class and dignity i was was known for pon road..

..this doesn't go down well with my 'killer and gorilla' buddies..

"N****R, you wanna be down with a pack of silverbacks, you
gotta start acting like a mother fuckin' baby gorilla, shit.."

"N****r, a fly English motherfucker like you could easily
get a blowjob on the dancefloor"


"for real my n****r, you just gotta be fly about it,
sit under the camera and just let everyone know
'yo, no disrespect but you don't want the kids to see this'"

"Trust me dog, once a minute she chomps on the hammer for like, ten seconds, whatever"

If coming to a federal holding facility to keep
an Englishman company for an hour sounds up
your street..

..or you fancy your chances chomping on a Turkish
hammer in front of a visiting room full of children and grandmothers..

write to me.

Timothy Guvercin
MCC New York
150 park row
New York, NY

8====> - - - -

No comments:

Post a Comment