The simple fact that ink is drooling from this pen onto paper,
in of all settings, a New York Federal Prison, it seems pretty
apparent that i make mistakes.
Somebody fragrant once told me,
"As a man you should have no regrets, simply learn
from your mistakes and move on"
Althought i'd like to stick my chest out and swear blindly
to the above statement, i'd be lying.
I have regrets.
Coming to jail is not actually on this list suprisingly small list,
it's simply a repercussion of extreme stupidity and negligence
on my behalf.
I was stupid.
Now i know to be smarter in the future.
For a simple brain.
It's always easier to make light of a situation than to truly accept it.
Instead of actually adressing certain issues that have hung over my head
like a scatty nappy, it's been way too easy for me to instead write about
someone waking me up in the morning..
I turn over.
They pull their pants down.
And while still standing.
spray the toilet seat with shit.
"Repression of our fears and feelings provides the major distortion,
because we delude ourselves into believing our own self-deception" - David Icke
There are no magic answers as to how you should deal with your incarceration
or the best way to move forward with your life, how to handle painful events that you've
There are no definitive answers to how you should act, think and behave in order
to progress as a human being in a difficult situation..
Whether your time is spent trying to grow and learn from your mistakes..
Repeating the same behavioural patterns that
landed you in the shit in the first place..
Or furiously masterbating over fully-clothed cut-out images
of non-sexual civilians extracted from mundane publications
passed from one sperm donor to the next in an olympically
fast, sticky handed relay of epic masterbation..
..It's is all a matter of personal preference.
"You empower yourself with love and respect, letting go of standards of perfection and refusing
to use up the precious currency of your life, the new, with thoughts that only continue to frustrate
and weaken you. Instead you can vow to be better than you used to be" - Wayne Dier