Monday 22 August 2011

House of God

Every Saturday..

Two o'clock..

Protestant church..

Church is a good place to go,
whether you're religious or not..

It's not only nice to get a little bit of movement,
travelling to a different, unfamiliar part of the prison,
but it's a place where you can meet up with your buddies,
co-defendants and possible enemies from other floors..

You can go there to worship too..

It's not like any 'house of God'
i've ever been to in my life..

Firstly..

It's split into different sections,
catering for all the different gangs and crews
populated in the jail.

Secondly..

There is a NEXT hench guard at the door.

Thirdly..

It's never, ever boring..

Most of the congregation are ultra hench
convicts, covered in an assortment of differently
retarded body and facial tattoos.

They have come to church for business,
and business purposes only..

Finding out information..

Exchanging messages from different inmates..

Organising financial transactions..

Material transactions..

You name it,
they are doing it..

No matter what church i go to or whatever
religous house i might be in, and i've been in a few,
i'm always respectful of other peoples faiths and beliefs..

Sadly not everyone shares the same views as me when
it comes to respecting their fellow brothers faith..

Most heads spend the majority of their time in religious
services laughing, shouting, basically on pure joke time..

There is a tonk air vent in the middle of the room,
as inmates routinely use the vents as make-shift telephones
to speak to heads on different floors, the pastors sermon is
frequently interupted by random shouts from inmates trying
to contact manz..

"YO! YO! NINE NORTH! YO D, YOU READ? MY N****R D, WUD UP SON?"

It's hard not to laugh..

Especially when the person on the vent is
getting more and more frustrated..

"YO MY N****R! MOTHERFUCKER WHAT THE FUCK YOU PLAYIN' AT N****R!
SEND DOWN MY MOTHERFUCKIN' BREAD YOU BUM ASS N****R! I KNOW YOU CONSCIOUS!
BITCH ASS N****R!"

The pastor is Chinese.

He speaks in a very, very thick accent.

All in all, he's a really good guy,
i have a lot of respect for him.
His bars always seem to have some kind of
direct relevance to whatever it is i might be
currently going through, he's a top boy player
in the game..

Man's patient too..

During yesterdays cypher,
he was talking about the many puported
miracles Jesus is believed to have performed..

"Jesus did things you can never do!"

"He turned water to WINE! You can NEVER do this!"

..People in the back of the room start to crack up laughing..

"NO! I'M NOT TALKIN' ABOUT HOOCH! STOP LAUGHIN!"

Everybody in the room is now purely creasin'..

"NO! IT'S NOT FUNNY! STOP LAUGHIN! MAKIN' HOOCH IS BAD!
JESUS MADE WINE NOT MOONSHINE, IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

By this point,
the whole congregation is pissing themselves,
falling about laughing..even the pastor has a smirk on
his face..

As with most religions,
the Protestant church in this prison has
sections of worship dedicated to singing..

Always a sight to behold..

BARE tattooed, greazy looking dudes,
getting mad emotional holding their arms out
singing at the top of their lungs, sometimes even
flailing them around into the rest of the congregation
in an attempt to convey the impression that they are
under some kind of magical spell..

While in the middle of a particular hymn,
some will spontaneously start shouting,

"AMEN! GOD IS GOOD!"

Or even take it all the way to the hilt,
busting out their own bars in a spare
of the moment soprano solo..

I should really go to church more often..

It was a really nice way to spend a couple hours,
i felt a lot more relaxed up my return to my unit..

Most importantly, i got to see my buddy T
who got moved to another floor!

Press Play
Can you put the tune 'never can say goodbye' by Isaac hayes)

He's doing well.

Nothing new to report.

Said he misses me whingin' to him
about my problems..

Poor sod..

He really bore the brunt of the
depression-era Timothy Guvercin..

Manz also really helped me when i was in
a bad spot, cooked me meals, gave me much needed advice,
generally being one hell of a good freind when i needed one..

I should definitely go to church more often..

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