There are some situations and incidents that are so hard
to believe, i don't bother writing them up.
Unless you are there to actually witness the daily fuckrie a gwarn
in MCC, it seems rather far fetched to say the least..
For instance,
earlier today i wanted something sweet to go
with my coffee. Some cookies, a granola bar,
banana cake, a honey bun, you get the picture..
I ain't got shit, so I had to improvise..
At that moment my freind M walked past.
He's over six feet tall, bares an uncanny resemblance to
Kimbo Slice, and his voice is somewhat similar to the late
Isaac Hayes.
A couple days ago i gave him a box of crackers.
"Yo M, beg you hook me up with something to munch with my coffee"
"No can do Timdog, i owe like Pooki"
"Nah i ain't hearing that mate, go get me something,
make some moves, my coffees getting cold"
"Ok, Ok i got you Timdog.."
I return to my cell and go sit down on my bunk.
Moments later, my freind arrives with (someone elses) pack
of Oatmeal cookies, grinning from ear to ear..
"Yo, these joints do?"
"Yeah, yeah they'll do man, safe"
As he takes his leave, one of the new dudes in the unit is standing
outside my cell, looking absolutely mystified as to how this young
white looking englishman is ordering around this monster of a man..
I just smile and offer him some cookies.
:)
Dun know.
Yo,
i got some letter today in the mail saying something about someone tried to send me some bread through the mail,
if you're in the states and you want to do this, it's got to be money orders, and sent it to
Federal Bureau of Prisons
Timothy Guvercin
63906054
P.O BOX 474701
Des Moines
Iowa
50947-0001
Or through Western Union like this
Call 0800 833 833 say you want to do a 'quick payment' to a prison - the company name is FBOP DC then give my surname Guvercin and number 63906054
To whoever sent me that bread, i really fucking appreciate it! The note i recieved said something about Beograd 3 for the address or something..but yeh thankyou for making the effort! Bus' me an email if that was you..
Even though i didnt actually recieve it,
the thought was there and it meant a lot :)
Thankyou
Tim
Being surrounded by all manner of different people,
from all sorts of different walks of life,
i hear a lot of funny stories.
Here's one
:D
This happened to my freind S when he was 19,
and had just started selling product seriously..
..Picture this..
It's a grimey hotel in Mexico..S and his freind B have
invested in 200 pounds of trees, and are waiting for their
driver to turn up..
..All the precautions have been taken care of..
The car used to transport the product is sitting in the parking lot.
It's pretty battered. They bought it at an auction a week before the trip,
and changed the lock on the drunk (boot) so only they (not the driver) can
get to the 200 pounds hastily jammed in there earlier that day..
The driver arrives,
he's young, was recommended by a freind last minute. The description the
freind gave was "he'll do it, this kids hungry".
The three musketeers sit in the dingy hotel revising their plans so everyone
is crystal clear on how this shit is going down..
S and his freind are going to be following the car close behind, while the 'driver'
tales the lead. They tell him that at some point they are going to pass through a small
town, when this happens, they will get to an intersection with four exists.
"Take the 3rd. Not the 1st, 2nd or 4th, the 3rd exit"
It's 2am.
The two car convoy is approaching the said intersection..
S notices the car in fronts brake lights have gone on. Again, they flicker on.
Clearly, the kid forgot which exit to take, so S hastily overtakes to take
the lead, gets off at the 3rd exit, and the 'driver' follows..
Out of nowhere, cop lights flash on.
They're pulling over the driver.
Naturally, S carries on driving, then ANOTHER set of lights come on,
signalling S to also pull over...
..He parks up in a closed petrol station..
The cop swans over and takes B out of the car to start questioning him,
and do a standard background check..
Quickly,
S shoves the key to the trunk into the tapedeck, and rams a tape in after it..
The cop comes back for S, takes him out the car and starts questioning what
the fuck he's doing in the middle of nowhere at 2am..
He says they're driving to California, and had been at his grandmothers house in
El Paso, Texas.
The cop asks if he knows the other car, as it seems a bit odd that both cars are
driving so close together, in the middle of nowhere, and don't know each other..
S and B both deny any knowledge of the 'driver' and his car..
..The cop tells them to wait here while he talks to the other officer who is questions the 'driver'..
..S and B watch the cop walk over to his buddy and exchange information..
..He comes strolling back with a smirk on his face..
He asks S if he's sure he doesn't know the other driver, as he's also heading
for California, which is more than a coincidence. S denies any knowledge of
him, as does B.
The cop peers down into his notepad..
"You sure neither of you gentleman know this guy?"
"no sir."
"Ok guys..
you have no outstanding warrants, everything seems
to check out. Before i let you gentleman leave and carry
on with your journey, i have on last question for you"
"errr ok"
"Why is that man's car registered in your name?"
:O !
..and with that, the officer calls for backup.
Another patrolcar pulls up. That's three. They thoroughly search
S and B's car, and find nothing. Then they head over to the 'driver',
in no time at all they figure out that the trunk has had its lock replaced..
..Ten minutes later, a jeep Cherokee pulls up. S turns a pale shade of white,
as he realises they most likely have a locksmith in the car. A female officer
steps out, with a strange pipe in her hand. She makes her way to the back of
her jeep, but instead of pulling out a toolbox, they hear a dog barking..A sniffer dog.
The dog leaps into the 'drivers' car and is sniffing the shit out of the front seats, ashtray,
everything. His owner is tapping every piece of the car, signalling to the dog which spots
to sniff..she takes the dog in the back seat..his head is embedded in the seats, but it finds
nothing..She then takes it out of the car and to the trunk, his nose is pressed against the
seal of the trunk, and S and B are sweating buckets (AS U CAN IMAGINE)..but it finds nothing..
After half an hour, the cops have no choice but to let the men go. And the driver. And the 200 pounds of weed in the boot..
As usual, instead of using the toilet before we
are locked down, my cellie waited until the door was locked
and i'm in the cell to take a shit.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
I'm listening to some tunes on the radio,
with my sweatshirt pulled over my face in a vain attempt
to blog some of the toxic smog billowing from the toilet only
a few feet away from where i sleep..
"whad up dog?"
Instantly something is telling me he's doing something weird.
We usually talk while he's shitting, but my spider sense is tingling and i
know that he's doing something or planning on doing something foul..
"Check out them dudes on the scaffolding"
I know there is no scaffolding outside. For fuck sake i look out the same
window at the same street every day, there is no scaffolding.
..Foolishly, i turn my head to look out the window..
As my head turns back, out of my peripheral vision i spot something
next to my bed. I know what it is without directly looking at it.
Right next to my pillow, and the cup of tea i was enjoying,
is a piece of toilet paper with a massive chunk of shit on it.
I'm lost for words.
He on the other hand is crying with laughter,
stamping his feet on the floor with joy like a small child..when he stops
laughing, he's like
"Dog that ain't nothin', i got my brother so bad one time, check this.."
His brother comes back from the store, has bought a drink and a big sandwhich.
He eats half, and leaves the other half in the fridge for later.
My cellie comes home, and notices the sandwhich. He's hungry. Without a second
thought, he empties the contents of the sandwhich into two pieces of bread, all the guts,
meat, cheese, lettuce, everything, and yams it down leaving only the bun in the fridge.
He then decides to take a shit. He tells me he 'catches the shit' with some toilet paper as
it's being squeezed out his ass, then takes it into the kitchen, puts it in the sandwhich.
Brother is nowhere in sight, so he goes outside to look for him, an finds him playing
in the street..
"Yo lemme get of that sandwhich"
"nah i'm saving it!"
"fuck that, im'a go eat it now"
An with that he runs back to the house, pretending that he's going to eat the sandwhich..
His brother chases up to him, an runs to the kitchen to eat it first..
Thinking he has the upper hand, he takes his time making a nice cold drink with ice,
gets a plate ready, and goes to grab the sandwhich out of the fridge. He opens it slowly,
and instantly knows something is up..unwrapping the foil, he smells it, an throws the
sandwhich across the room screaming..
"MAHH! MAHH! MAHH!"
"Look at this bitch ass n****r tellin' on me!"
"MAHHHH!"
Mum comes into the kitchen and realises what
has happened
I've just made a hench mug of coffee,
it's bare late, and i'm bouncing off the fucking walls.
I think i'm pissing off my cellie.
"Did you ever take ecstacy in the street?"
"erm yeah"
"That's probably why you're so bugged the fuck out :D"
:(
These late night coffee sessions have actually
done me a hell of a lot of good recently..
In this sleep-deprived, caffeine fuelled state, it seems
like i am able to open up my brain to new, positive,
healthy conclusions to my thoughts. I look at things differently.
I read somewhere that if you change the way you look at something,
that which you were looking at also changes..this is true.
For instance..
I spent so much focusessed on that girl and how she treated me.
So much time, energy and heartache was spent trying to figure out
how she could abandon me in a situation as fucked as this,
merely two months after vowing to be by my side
for the rest of our lives..but i understand now.
Over the seven months i have been in here, many people have
told me the same advice again and again..
"Yo, you're fuckin' lucky to have got out now kid,
she did you a favour!"
It wasn't until recently that i fully
understood what they meant or how that made sense.
There's that saying, something about you can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make it drink.
:)
I understand now.
These dudes where right,
she DID do me a favour.
How?
Well, she has shown me through her actions who she is.
Opening my eyes to reality, and i appreciate it more
than she could ever know.
I was shown what her true definition of marriage, love and commitment
was.
How important it was to her.
What being married meant to her, and how much she valued me and my life.
My thoughts,
feelings and definitions of marriage evidently
differ greatly from my 'spouse's.
Of course it is majorly fucked up to find out so harshly in a situation
as bate as this,
but fuck it,
at least i found out!
It's evident that i didn't know this girl
as well as i thought.
I didn't know who she truly was.
For that i can only blame, if anyone, me, myself and i.
When it comes to the core principles of who you are,
what you judge to be right and wrong, me and this girl
are polar opposites. No matter how hard i think about it,
imagine different scenarios, things never could have worked.
God forbid a child would've been involved..
The girl didn't stand by me as my wife.
She didn't love and support me when i needed her,
ultimately it wasn't in her nature to do these things,
and i understand that now. We are different people.
The greatest thing two people
can have on this earth is an understanding,
