I'm laying with my head towards the door in a pair of (too small) shorts and a brown t-shirt, staring out the window at the empty warehouse opposite my cell..
Something had been troubling me recently.
I'd been stressing a lot thinking about a few different things and tonight, thankfully, it seems to have passed.
Picking up a notepad and resting it upright on the middle of my chest, wrinkled red shaky fingers clasping a pen at an extremely uncomfortable angle so that the ink doesn't stop flowing, I wrote the conclusions to what had been troubling me.
This is what i wrote.
There's nothing wrong with going forward and living a life on your own.
It might be more difficult to do so but you be achieving more at the same time.
To achieve something of great worth was never an easy accomplishment.
Achieving what you want on your own will give it more meaning and you will value it more.
After all, it is your life, no one else's, so it makes sense to be as in control of it as possible?
Being completely accountable for everything that you do, necessary mistakes, achievements, the good and bad points, that's what being a man is all about right?
When you fuck up you admit to it and make a mental note of how you fucked up and how to avoid it..
When you do good things you remind yourself of what you're capable of and keep trying to do better..
Everything you go through, you view it differently to how anyone else involved views it, it'll always have more meaning for you than anyone else anyway.
They're your experiences.
It makes sense to be accountable for all of them whether they're good or not right?
Then i went to sleep..