You can fart right here

There's a Spanish dude in here who i get along with pretty well.

At least i USED to get along with him..

When he first came in,
for various reasons we wasn't too cool.

That shit got squashed and now we are pretty tight,
he looks out for me, sets me ingredients when i'm cooking,
or will run around asking his Spanish connects until he finds
whatever it is i'm trying to get my hands on.

He's a good dude.

Got a very gravely voice.

A bit like Benicio Del Toro!

Anyways today he woke me up,
be loudly shouting as he made his way past my door,

"Yo that bitch Serena Williams, man, she can fart dead in my face,
i'd just suck that shit in!"

He then pouted his furry lips together an
breathed in deeply, making a loud whistling noise,

"My N****r, straight after one'a them Wimbledon games, i'd tell her straight up,
yo, if you need to fart, you can fart right here!"

An pointed at his nose.

Later in the day we get locked in,
but he's outside the door doing some cleaning..

My brother is preparing to take a 'Brontosaurus Shit',
which i'm not fucking happy about..

I TOLD him about HALF HOUR ago that if he needed to shit,
he should do it now, because we're about to get locked in,

"Nah. I'm good. Im'a wait"

:(

He's prepped the toilet,
there's a towel draped around the rim and pieces
of wet toilet paper placed in arms length of the mother fucker..

He's just smiling..

:D

I'm NOT happy about this..

"FOR FUCK SAKE, lemme fucking take a piss first!!"

He just laughs..

"A'ight gambler, calm the fuck down, go ahead an piss!"

I drank a fucking HUGE cup of really good coffee prior to
all this ridiculousness, so i'm fucking dying to take a slash!

I whip my meat out an start pissin'.

A strong current of urine unleashes from my stinkin' bellend..

As soon as it starts goin',
this idiot starts screamin' at the top of his lungs,

"YO B! B! COME OVER DOG!"

Dude outside walks up to the window smiling..

Looks at my idiot brother smiling..

Looks at me standing by the toilet..

Then looks down..

"YOOOOO! WHAT THE FUCK!!"

Dude jumps away from the door like he just got an electric shock.

By a ghost.

"YOU'S SOME NASTY N****R'S YO!"

"AAAHAHA! YO DOG YOU HIT THAT N****R WID THE SUJUK! TURKISH CAEBOSA! AHAHA!"

Fucking idiot.