fuck man

A very tiring day..

This is day three without coffee..

:(

No one's got any.

The few people that DO are being ULTRA petty
and ain't hooking a motherfucker up..

Anyone else who does have some, i don't fuck with, so I'm not gonna
ask them for any..

It opens doors that are best kept closed.

Anyways I'm trying to look at this like a choice
opportunity to knock it on the head for a while,
it'd save me a shitload of bread each month
and I'm sure drinking more water can't be a bad look?

To the right of me, in the corner of my bed,
between the mattress and a tiny bit of space on the metal frame
sits a couple stacks of books, a few Style files, a load of assorted
self help an next bugged out books, but perched on the top,
i got a hot cup of tea.

:)

My bunkie is asleep..

He keeps squeaking out baby-shit smelling farts every
half hour or so, which i think is in protest of me having the light on.

It ain't gonna work..

It usually continues for an hour until i bust out
a fucking HENCH fart an he just shuts up an goes to sleep.

Bless..

I fucked up my arm very badly yesterday playing football,
skidded all over the ground like a mug,
a lot of people laughed..

Until they saw mad blood pissing out my arm..

It took a few chunks out my right fore-arm
and I'm finding it challenging lying down without
soiling the bed with blood, semen and shit.

:/

Which is nothing new..

Before we got locked in i was walking around for a while,
aimlessly scuffling my feet from one place to the next,
trying to kill some time..

I wondered to a foreign window an just stood there,
gripping the bars, staring out into the street while
two goblins played cards behind me..

"Tim dogs, watch me school this bum-ass n****r!!"

"FUCK YOU! Tim dog, you know what they call me?!"

:D

"The TRUANT officer, n****r!! Cos im'a take this n****r to school! Word!"

"How the FUCK you gonna take the TEACHER to school!?!?"

"WATCH timdogs..watch this n****r gimme all his motherfuckin' money, WATCH!!"

"THIS n****r talkin' mad wreckless, walkin' round with'is wallet open, im'a teach him, im'a teach him"

And so on..

It looked really nice outside tonight.

People are slowly strolling past my window in shorts,
t-shirts, dresses, summer clothes..

Everything seems really picturesque..

Everybody's lit up by the golden lamps lining the street..

Tonight this tiny glimpse of the world
i have up here provided a nice reminder
of life outside..

There was this one couple that walked by.

The guy had his arm around her waist,
every few steps they would stop, he'd pull her close
an they would just stand there kissing each other,
like there was no one else in the world..

I watched them walk away into the distance..

It was nice..

Seeing a peak at real life had me thinking.

Aspirations..

Hopes..

Dreams..

Good things.

I used my imagination to take me out of here..

i imagined what it might feel like to go create new memories..

I try to picture being somewhere new..

Going somewhere i have yet to see..

Meeting new people..

Everything is different..

Better than before..

I wonder how people will react to me in the future.

I can't help asking myself questions like this sometimes..

Do i need to tell people i was in prison?

Will people be able to tell?

Does it even matter?

It's not as if I'm going to be leaving the States
talking out the side of my mouth, limping,
throwing up gang signs an sporting a du-rag,

But still,

People might be able to tell..