Notes in February

It’s about nine oclock on a Friday night, they are giving out the clean laundry by the door but my bunkie is picking mine up for me,

Timothy is sat on his bunk on this valentines day, surrounded by papers, sweatpants and my jean jacket that i use for a blanket,

flicking through book pages for references and occassionaly glancing up at the spanish telly..

I got work in the morning and as i slept two hours last night it's best if i try get some kip soon..

I'm wondering,

I've gone through my adult life with an idea of what i want to do,
a vague collection of interests woven together in a picturesque circumstance that, as i have not been able to put together, perhaps i'd be better off scrapping?

Not in a defeatist way but more, i guess, i keep thinking of my old bunkies expression,

that repeating the same thing expecting different results is crazy?

Now i'm not exactly planning on a repetition of my previous day to day hustle, but perhaps scrapping what i thought i wanted for most my adult life is good for me,

opening the horizons, 

less limitating?

I'm not going to be denying myself things i am passionate about,

it's more about breaking down the initial mental picture ive had of what i perceive an ideal life to be,
taking the core principles behind it and applying it to alternative, more obtainable and realistic circumstances...

This is where i'm at right now..