Big Dog

It's the sluggish, early morning part of my weekly fast,
the coffee i had before lock in has me feeling anxious
and as always i don't know exactly what to do with myself.

Most people are asleep.

As far as i can tell anyway...

Ain't no one next door talking shit,
either side i can't hear nothing.

Opposite there ain't no light on..

Seems like everyone is sleeping.

I know for a fact my bunkie is
as he's snoring so fucking loud
the bed is shaking..

Everyone is sleeping.

Except me..

It's nice and quiet, i like it,
gives me a chance to let my mind settle,
no need to listen out for shouts that turn into fights,
i'm not listening to any of the bullshit that plays on the radio..

I'm just laying on my side staring out the window..

It's crazy to think how long i've been here..

I've seen the same street go through the seasons
year in and year out..

I've watched snow cover the road..

Leaves falling..

Rain washing the street..

I've seen all this shit so many times now,
i don't even pay it no mind anymore when i look outside,
the changes are pretty meaningless now..

I just want to know when it's going to be My time..

I want to know when it's my time to leave and come home..

If everything worked out in the best possible scenario for me,
which would be time served, i'm not going to be touching that street
outside anyway as after marrying we didn't apply for my citizenship..

I can expect to be whisked away within 72 hours by ICE Agents
to an immigration jail when i finish my time in Federal Custody to
await deportation.

I've heard that place is fucking terrible..

Everyone knows they're getting deported so
they don't give a fuck, people that have been through
there told be heads are whilin' out round the clock!!

It is actually possible for me to get bailed out
of that place.

I've been prosecuted for a non-violent crime involving
no drugs and from what i've been told the bail amount
wouldn't be over five grand..

It would certainly be nice to spend a little bit of time
in the city before coming home to London but i don't
think it is meant to be, first of all i don't know anyone
in the States who could bail me out and secondly,
by the time my Federal time is finished and my ass
is in the Immigration jail, most likely in Pennsylvania,
i'll be so close to coming home it won't even matter..

I'm not gonna lie though..

It would be nice to leave here on a not so sour note..

Sitting in front of me is a piece of paper full of
very scrappily written notes i've taken today.

Most of it are songs i've heard on the radio..

I have a sinking feeling that i've written all these
songs before..