84-114

What could someone POSSIBLY tell you (me) that would alleviate your (my) problems?

:/

Does it really help smearing some next nutty dog shit
that's on (my) your trainers onto the next man?

:(

If tell ten people about the seemingly RIDICULOUS issues
I'm having to deal with at the moment..

Will i actually feel any better?

If my situation is genuinely as bad as i think it is,
by telling someone that cares about me and wants the best for me,
how is it going to effect their quality of life by telling them all about
the mountain of bullshit that I'm having to juggle with at the moment?

Will they feel good knowing about this?

Not likely..

If they could actually help it would be one thing,
but at they can't then I'm just spreading negative energy
around and to be real people might listen to that bullshit
at first but after a while motherfuckers don't wanna hear
that monkey shit no more.

Even in the WORST case scenario..

At the very least i know i have my family
and friends backing me and showing me support.

Shit man..

My life..

Fuck..

It hasn't exactly gone to plan i must say.

Not that there ever WAS a fucking plan..

But you get what i mean..

Day to day.

That's the only way to take it..

I'm well and truly DONE telling myself
how 'this isn't permanent' and 'one day' and all
the rest of that dumb shit I've been repeating
for the last god knows how much months and years..

If i keep telling myself this shit then it's almost as if
I'm mentally reinforcing the idea that I'm in need of
comforting and that my life is a struggle.

Which isn't good.

That's not actually going to help!!

I tell you what though..

I imagine..

IMAGINE..

That when you're stressed, you could use a pipe that,
if running along the ceiling of your room, could be used
to do sets of ten pull-ups..

I never have never done this or witnessed anyone doing so..

But I imagine that when shitty thoughts start to cascade through
one's brain, to the point where after TWENTY NINE MONTHS of being
held in prison without being sentenced you cannot see ANY FUCKING END
to this shit..

Doing some pull-ups might help.

:)

Real talk..

I've done all the legal work i can.

I am no attorney nor do i have any background in Federal Law.

:/

I've taken the time to write to anyone and everyone
that could possible help me in my attempts to get some
kind of justice or fair resolution to my case..

If i STILL get fucked!?

FUCK man..

Then i simply never stood a chance from the get go.

I was ALWAYS going to get fucked.

:(

Effort Timothy..

It's the effort you put in that you're responsible for..

NOT the outcome..

........

........

........

:/

If things really do go tits up..

Someone please remind me of the above..