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Luckily for me, i get on with my cellmate, Sha, extremely well..

 I couldn't really ask for a better cellmate, we constantly catch jokes,

he gives me EXTREMELY blunt advice on..

life

"Who the FUCK am i, nostradamus or some shit?"

Love

"Don't marry a chick you love, marry a chick that loves you..at least you

can learn to love the bitch"

and legal matters

"Don't commit no crimes motherfucker, not here..they gave a n****r a life bid for

stealing a slice of pepperoni"

 He says he thinks of me as his little brother, which i've heard him say to people...followed by

"If you fuck with him, im'a break you n****rs the fuck off"

 Having the bank robbing equivalent of Tony Soprano for backup certainly has it's plusses...

I am having extreme financial difficulties at the moment, so much so, that i havn't been able to afford phone calls, toiletries or food this past week..Luckily for me, a day at the poker table, and a few incidents of 'shaking n****rs down', Sha hooked me up! Ain't brotherly love a motherfucker!

 He is a mover and shaker (shanker) ...

When this FUCKING NIGHTMARE is over, he plans to visit me and my parents in Turkey..

 An boy does he have plans instore...

"Timdog, i seen what your pops looks like, he KNOWS where the turkish hookers are at"

:s "err i'm not sure he does

"You shittin me?!?"

 (Bare in mind this whole conversation is taking place in pitch black while he's naked sitting on the toilet taking a shit)

"Trust me Timdog, us Turkish n****rs gonna be straight Wilin!"

 He then explains that he plans to give my father 500 dollars, to spend on as

much coccaine as possible..

 "Im'a teach pops how to make crack coccaine son, no bullshit..send moms to

the store to get us some baking soda, cook that shit up on the stove..

dad's gonna be TWISTED yo!"

Despite my best efforts to explain that my rents life in a sleepy fishing town,

Sha is deadset on taking Kusa Dasi by storm...

"Son, im'a show all the hairy Turkish bitches that 'sambo n****rs' got the biggest dick"