straight

people make jokes about me in here.

Me included,
this place is full of pricks so it's to be expected.

"Timdog when you came in the jail,
surrounded by all these n****rs, you was
shakin' like vegas dice!"

Yeh.

Yeh, i was, it wasn't exactly your everyday
fucking situation..

One doesn't think that circumstances could take such
a swiftly downward turn in a mear 24 hours.


I was not expecting it,
nor had i thought about what i might do if one day
i was sleeping soundly in my apartment and find myself
woken by Secret Service agents wielding shotguns,
didn't plan for that one.

Just as i hadn't done any research into
what i might do if i found myself flung
head first into a maximum security federal
prison.

Wasn't prepared,
definitely wasn't schooled for this type
of a jam.

One of my Jamaican brethren has a fondness for pointing
out that i allegedly look more stressed than anyone in the unit,
and has crowned me the coveted title of..

"Most worried man in the jail"

..Pussyclat.

Do i not have reason to be worried or stressed?!

It's a yes and no answer..

 If i'm focussing on how terrible this predicament is,
how badly i fucked up a lot of things over the last few years
and that my immediate future seems to be situated behind
these grey prison bars,
 then yes i should be stressed.

 On the other hand,
If i just accept my situation for what it is,
a temporary stopping point in my life to sharpen up,
focus on bettering myself physically and mentally,
continue planning my future, stop acting like a pussy
and simply hold my big Turkish balls an staunch this
fucking bullshit chapter of my life out until its
inevitable conclusion,
 then no i have absolutely no reason to be worrying
or bitching about being in this jail.

Yes and No.

It all depends how i'm feeling on any given day.

Today i'm going to say no.

It's all good.

 I ain't sweatin' shit.

I can do this.

 Life is good.

I look great.

 I feel great.

I have support.

The heads that love me show me each
and every day.

 The heads that don't clearly didn't have
love for me from the beginning,
so they can royally fuck off.

Straight.

Still..

I'm talking all this cad shit now..

 It's more than likely i will wake up tomorrow
in a funk, convince myself that the world is over,
the girl who completely deserted me is ACTUALLY
my soul mate and should've had my kids,
and in short act like a pussy..

Place your bets!