Enjoy the cake

So it's almost July.

Two things to look forward to..

My one year wedding anniversay,
and on the 31st July it's my birthday.

Joy.

One might come to the assumption that
considering my 'killer an gorilla' murderous surroundings,
no one gives a fuck about your birthday.

Negative..

It all depends on your status in the prison.

I've seen people have substantially dope meals
cooked for them, feasts that have taken a seriously
long time to prepare, which is really nice!

I've also seen people presented with birthday cakes
that are mostly comprised of stool softener and laxatives.

Also nice.

A couple months back,
it was a guys birthday that is pretty
respected/feared in the jail.

A large proportion of the inmates in here run around
after this guy like bloody slaves, doing everything he asks,
and in turn he publically abuses, humiliates and violates
them on a daily basis.

It's jokes.

Anyhow,
He's in his cell, brushing his teeth.

They baked him a cake for his birthday,
and had some kind of extremely retarded
plan of giving him birthday beats as a desert.

One of them boots his door open,
and shoves his freind, shouting

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"

The guy flies straight into R,
who spits toothpaste onto the floor.

"You n****rs plannin' on givin' me beats yeh?"

They both smile.

Before either of them can actually answer,
he grabs foolio number two and starts smashing him,
head first, into every surface in the cell.

Sink.

Toilet.

Walls.

Table.

Corner of the bed.

Everything.

With brute force.

Then with one mighty lob, the guy goes
flying out the cell an splats onto the wall.

R Steps through the doorway,
still with toothbrush an toothpaste in his mouth,
and stars at the other bozo who is frozen..

..Then quickly places the cake on the floor, mutters

"Yo enjoy the cake"

..and runs off the tier.

I asked him later that day why he didn't go in first,
and also why he didn't help his freind.

He shrugged his shoulders, stared at me blankly and said
"Don't get it fucked up, i'm smarter than the average bear"

Fair play!

Come the 31st of July,
think of me.

Press Play

By the looks of things i'll either be fighting numerous goons,
hiding in my cell or shitting white hot,
softened stool.

Good times.