Count this

It's time for stand up count.
This happens three times a day. While we are locked in
our cells, two Correctional Officers go from cell to cell, making
sure all the inmates are in their appropriate cells, and are
accountable for.
 Pretty straight forward bullshit.

 The guard on duty, depending if they are safe or not,
will usually bang on the window when passing to say hello..

My cellie recounts a story from when he was over
at the infamous island..Rikers island..

 It's count time.
In some of the buildings there, the doors just
have a hole in them, no glass. So you can stick
you arm/head through.

 Some guy a couple cells down from my partner decides
count time is as good as any to start jerking off, so pulls
his dick out and starts furiously masterbating.

 As the female guard comes closer and closer
to his cell, the guy starts shouting..

"count this BITCH! count this,
count this DICK!"

 She gets to his cell,
pears in, sees him wanking, and cool
as a cucumber spits straight on his dick and walks off..
..followed by screams of

"YEAH! YEAH! YEAH BABY!"

:D