manscaping

 Being of English and Turkish descent has its good and bad points.
Mostly good points, I'm a meditaranian man, and proud of it.
 But being blessed with all things meditaranian, also means
i'm a hairy guy..It's all part of being a man, but there are
some places that need to be..Regulated

 When on road,
i kept myself trimmed. You have to.
 As much as your lady wants to make her man happs,
no self respecting woman wants a mouthful of tropical pubic hair. Fact.
 It's just common courtesy for a Turkish man like myself to keep shit at bay,
with from time to time, a little manscaping.

 Upon arrival at my own personal MOTHER FUCKING PERGATORY,
having most things violently snatched from me, i view a lot of everyday items
as luxuries...scissors being one of them..

 Obviously there is no female company in here...other than the occasional 3/10 guard,
which i'm STILL working on :D
 With the lack of female company, and the realisation that bar getting jerked off while
on a visit (which is common practice, fascilitated by a crudely wripped hole in ones jumpsuit),
i ain't getting any for a while, my focus definitely strayed from my appearance, for a hot minute..

 I grew a fucking HENCH beard, stopped eating, and was slowly turning into a wreck of a man..
Timothy Guvercin was becoming ever more distant by the day..

 Through the love and support of my family and a few freinds, and my cellie, i started to fix up.
After getting my hair cut, mans was working out, daily.
 It payed off, I got into the best shape i've been in since i was a teenager..
One day after a shitload of pushups, i'm just about to have a shower and i hear
"GAD DAMN! Dog you're puttin' the work in, but you look like a fucking caveman!"
He was right..

 Months in federal prison with no scissors had left me looking like a neanderthal,
and something had to be done..
 With nothing else at my disposal, i had no other choice..
I shaved under my armpits..
..Possibly THE least macho thing i have ever done in my life..
and now has turned into a weekly nesecity..if anyone has any tips for shaving rash,
please let me know!!!

 As for the Other over grown hair on my body, that's a different story altogether..
 Firstly, i thought i could just boy it off..let's be realistic, my sujuk
is taking a rest from the spotlight for now, on a reclusive tip..it ain't getting any imediate attention
apart from Madame Palm and her five daughters.
 So who cares if things get a little Conan for now right?
Wrong.

 It's hard to be admire/be proud of your new Jean Claude van Damage physique when confronted
by a tropical jungle of pubes below..It ain't the look.
 So it was time for Timmyboy to get inventive..as there is no fucking way
that i am shaving my cock and balls. Not happening. Fuck that.

 So...
Man's took a disposable razor, snapped off the plastic guarding around the blade..turning it into a
VERY VERY sharp handheld razor..With a little careful wrapping of toilet tissue and celetape that i'd
saved off the packaging from a graff book someone sent me (safe Josh!), it was safe enough to be
allowed near my Johnson..
 After a couple minutes of hacking away at this tropical Forest that had crept into my prison pants,
my stir crazy penis is now sporting a very handsome new haircut, just like this :D