I think i fucked the N up..

Too many bits coming off..

Back in 20 loads

"Yo"

"Yo wudup"

"What's most chicks response when they
find out you've just come home from a bid?"

"Huh?"

"Like how do they react?"

"Bitches are eager to try out the bone"

"For real?"

"Very eager my n****r"

"Yeah? i bet it took you a while to get your shit back though,
im'a probably get a blowjob before i try stabbin' any pussy"

"N****R!! Even if she eat your Turkish hammer up,
you'll be finished in no more than ten strokes.."

:(

"How long did it take YOU to get match fit?"

"Huh?"

"I ain't had no pussy in two years man!!"

"AND!?

"I'm probably gonna need some time to get my shit back right?"

"N****r.....shiiiitt....."

:/

"I don' think i EVER came back dog.."

"Nah real talk it'll take you about twenty nuts before you get back my n****r.."

"Jus' make sure when you finally get you some black pussy i'm there to supervise my n****r,
that chocolate bitch throw that black asshole down on you.."

"You might catch another case.."

Yes G What's good

-Coffee?

-Bateness?

-Stress?

The bed-shakeningly loud moans,
coughs, farts and snores from a 260 pound
seasoned criminal?

-Thoughts of the past?

-Hopes for the future?

-Hunger?

-Depression?

-Anxiety?

:/

Not tonight..

The pitter-patter of tiny paws darting across plastic tiles
and the KRAK noise of a shell falling off the wall followed by
a scuttling of pincers between hiding places..

That is why i cannot sleep.

:(

I currently cannot turning onto my left side
to ignore all of this bullshit either..

A public relations incident is to blame.

Yup..

Not so good..

I'm sure getting a good night's sleep would be a good look,
or would at least do something towards my recupporation.

Perhaps sharing my good deed of the day might help
to take my mind off all the bullshit and relax a little..

Let's see..

-I removed all the shoes and sneakers,
then with a big dusty-ass broom i swept up all the bollocks,
food remnants and numerous bodily debree up off from the floor.

-We got this cleaning shit called 'Simple Green' that smells like apples,
i busted bare licks of that shit all over the floor an after letting it dry,
got on my hands an feet (NOT knees) with a big manky brush an scrubbed
all the caked on grime off the floor in the most aggressive manner you can imagine.

I did NOT wear rubber gloves.

Nor did i get called a 'pure bitch' by
people walking past.

....

I'm just sayin'.

-Using a rag and a healthy globule of phlegm,
i polished off the nobs on the door and sink.

You're a fucking tramp for even THINKING that shit.

-Last but not least,
with my bare hands i scrubbed my face then rinsed
out a rag of cloth that, for unknown reason to me,
is reffered to as the 'piss rag'.

I used to pay a dude to clean up.

He'd do one hell of a job too..

Now i'm on my knuckles
i can't afford that shit anymore.

Despite me wanting to
have a dude clean my cell who..

Rumour has it..

Got busted in a barrel upto his neck in coccaine..

an was so fucking high he almost DIED..

I ain't ballin' like that no more.

So i clean it myself.

:)

An you know what?

I actually enjoy it..

When i was in the town..

Before things went ultra tits-up..

There was a time when i didn't have JACK shit.

Food..

Clothes..

Money..

Looking back..

These are the times that i  miss the most.

Why?

Because I had so little..

The things i DID have..

I appreciated them.

That is until..

Erm

THE IMPORTANT THING TO FOCUS ON..

Now that i'm back to the basics..

Have i learnt my lesson?

Although i am now again in posession of very little..

Whenever i make it back to the town..

Will i still appreciate the small things in life?

Or am i just talking slick because i fucked it all up
and am now trying to cover my tracks by making it
all seem like some kind of cosmic life lesson?

...

We shall see.

**PLEASE REPOST**

On August 16th 2012

Timothy Ozer Guvercin (that would be me) plead guilty

to one count of conspiracy to commit bank fraud

and one count of aggravated identity theft.

Under the Federal sentencing guidelines,

that leaves me with a 'recommended guideline range'

of 37-41 months plus a mandatory two years for the

aggravated identity theft charge.

I should be getting sentenced in the next 90 days or so,

and am now in the process of collecting character references.

I could be sentenced to anywhere between time served and

seven years so character references will play a BIG part in

whatever sentence i am given.

If you are a friend of mine, someone i have spent time with

or you have simply been following my story over the past two

years and found something positive or inspiring in my words,

please, it would mean the world to me if you took the time to

write a letter to the address below,

saying a little bit about yourself, what type of person you think i am

and why further incarceration for me is not necessary.

I'm getting sentenced around November so you

have up until the beginning of November to send them in..

Each and every letter will make a difference,

and i want you to know your support and prayers

are more than appreciated!!

Timothy Ozer Guvercin

x

The Honorable Judge Sweet

500 Pearl Street

New York, NY

10007

USA

Round three

I had initially planned on fasting today..

As i woke up to the wonderful sensation of having flames
lit behind my eyeballs and a cheese grater in the back
of my throat..

Coupled with white hot molten shit leaking out my pink asshole..

It was not to be!!

Perhaps in a paralel universe..

There is another Timothy Ozer Guvercin.

He IS fasting..

An he probably went up to the roof today with everyone else..

He might be running..

Or doing pushups..

Pullups..

Or any of the retarded things i do to
kill time in here on a daily basis..

This one is not engaging in physical exercise though.

He's sitting at a table.

Alone.

Positioned under a light that keeps flickering
on and off in a very dramatic fashion..

Slowly stirring a big bowl of oatmeal..

Indiscriminantly scattered across the table
are tissue-like remnants of an apple that got
butchered earlier this today.

An now the table is mad sticky.

Which is not very welcoming!!

But i guess that's not a bad thing sometimes..

....

Actually that's bollocks.

There is no good points about someone leaving a load
of crap on a table thats meant for everybody..

I'm just being lazy.

An that was my attempt at coming up with some
kind of mystical reasoning for why i didn't clean the
table earlier.

Nevermind eh..

Ok so today is going to be spent looking after myself..

-Lots of food

-Hot drinks

-Knocking one out

-A hot shower

-Getting a haircut

Seems like a good place to start would be making
a cup of coffee..

This is the LAST of my coffee.

I been saving this shit for a special occasion..

It ain't even enough for a whole cup.

I know..

Im'a cut it with some hot chocolate..

Couple scoops of coffee creamer..

Done..

Ok!

With Turkish paws wrapped around
a heavily stained plastic mug of garbage..

It's time to try relax.

Lemme see what's poppin' outside the window..

:/

It's nice out.

REAL nice..

Powdered blue sky..

Sun is shining..

Lots of females walking around..

"Yo are those boots that go upto a bitches
(two years in prison) knees called long boots or high boots?"

"They're called hooker boots."

Oook..

The window isn't going to plan today.

Perhaps i should stare at the trusty ceiling instead..

What do i see?

Well..

My view may or may not be of an ever expanding collage
of graffiti and females that possibly have or have not
been stuck up there with a small toothbrush and many
dollops of green budget toothpaste..

I think the sun is starting to cook the paste.

Strange spots are forming all over the place.

It's making all the females look either like they've
caught the clap or are turning into zombies..

I've never seen or heard of a porno where
they dress the chicks up as zombies.

:/

And on that note..

Now i know why you cry..

I was about to start writing about how things
have been plodding on the last week or so..

Then i clocked it.

This fucking TRAMP never flushed the toilet..

:(

It's DISgusting..

I just looked down an clock this
nasty-ass paper pyramid rising out
the toilet bowl..

With a mint-choc-chip green chunk of shit on top.

"Tonight's the NIGHT!! Like Betty White!! An um CHILLIN'!!"

He's refusing to flush the toilet.

Unless i 'ask him nicely'.

Now..

Considering MY version of asking nicely
had included the words FUCKING TRAMP and PURE CHUMP..

He's made it clear that he's not
going to flush the toilet now..

No matter how loudly i exhale and
hurl tramp-laced profanities at him..

This is SO fucked up..

I didn't make it!!

Yet i'm the one that's gotta deal with this BULL shit!!

.....

Well.

What are my options..

:(

"Better than a meaningles story of a thousand words,
is a single word of deep meaning which, when heard,
produces peace" - From the Dhammapada (Sayings of the Buddha)

thursday 4th October remember this date

Ignoring my ego when making decisions
is extremely important.

The never ending tap on the shoulder..

It tells me i should react NOW!!

"YOU GONNA 'LOUW THAT SHIT!?"

That type of thing.

Instead..

It's best to take my time
and think things through.

I know in the long run i will have a better outcome!!

It's all about patience..

Having the discipline NOT to react to my ego's
constant cravings for instant satisfaction.

Whether it's the urge to tell someone
some information that i feel they are ignoring..

Or would make me look like i am 'in the right'..

Physically reacting..

I mean these are all examples based on
a NEGATIVE stimulant i should add..

Someone trying to pull a reaction out of me,
coupled with my brain/ego's need to be percieved
as the winner..

it's always in my best interest to fall back.

I know this.

To take my time..

Think things through..

After all..

An emotional reaction to a situation..

Is never an intelligent one.

:)

Still..

Life doesn't always pan out quite like i'd hope.

People are not perfect..

ESPECIALLY those incarcerated!!

Mistakes have and will be made..

Granted..

But it's LEARNING from those mistakes that's key in
preventing further complications in my pursuit
of a happy and peaceful existence..

I can't learn ANYthing when i'm pissed..

I mean..

Imagine being at school.

What's the chances you are gonna' give a flying fuck
about what the teacher is spraying blams about if
you're sitting there brewing like a motherfucker?

Not..

Particularly..

Good.

:/

Why?

Because you're pre-occupied with the emotion at hand.

Judgement becomes clouded..

Yup.

Cave man mode.

:D

So right now..

Even though my PATHETICALLY weak brain is biblically
screaming at me to react..

To 'do something right now'..

All for the purpose of satisfying my ego's
need to be deemed as being 'in the right'..

:/

I think im'a just fall back.

Allow my mind some time to settle..

A bit of breathing space.

Oh..

Before i forget..

Instantly reacting to an externals behaviour,
it usually gives the impression that person has
some kind of control over you..

That they can dictate your mood..

Your state of mind..

Your behaviour..

It gives the impression that
others have power over you.

Which..

Again..

is not a good look.